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Saturday, September 5, 2009

[Playtest Campaign][Gaming][Life] All good things...?-

A bias against Delver's/CiCi's player has become so pronounced that I am thinking of dropping the game.

The LGS owner (now without competetors, as the other LGS has closed for business) and Tybalt's player both acted in a very immature and inappropriate manner that both hurt me in my heart, as well as making me not want to run for them any longer, --at the expense of my SO (Tybalt's player's sister), and Delver's/CiCi's player.
--On top of that, due to scheduling conflicts, there don't appear to be any sessions for the rest of September.

I am also in a conflict over this weekend's C&C game.
--I would prefer to play today, but someone else cannot make it. Sunday is bad for another player, and Monday I would be in conflict with my SO's final session of her mini-'campaign'.

But, the real grey cloud is that my father is in hospice, unconscious, and has been estimated at having roughly two months left.
--The more-local sister is coming down tonight, and leaving Monday night.

What happens next determines whether or not we need to move in with my eldest sister in Boston, MA., or eke out a living here-- if that is even possible.
--You see, without my father's SS/income, the mortgage payments exceed our ability to pay, unless we can get a refinancing deal.
---Boston has many advantages in that we would be living with family we feel comfortable with, in a large Victorian, atop a hill. But, I would have to shed my firearms; and, would make things much more difficult to find employment in my field.

So, things are kind of...gritty, here.

How much further 'til I level-up?
--> soft smile <


  1. Sorry to hear about all the heavy issues you are having to deal with. Then on top of it you can't even use gaming as an escape. Hang in there.

  2. Tim,

    Thank you.
    --Have fun this weekend.

  3. I don't have all the details, obviously, but if I may offer some very hard-won lessons from my own time in the GM trenches...

    Use the September hiatus to let this particular group disband; if the LGS owner and player have caused you this much trouble, it's not going to be worth it to try and patch something up to keep the group together. I had a very similar problem several years ago, where one player in my Tekumel RPG group took a particular delight in tormenting my elder daughter, who was also a player, outside the game context and on a very personal level. I announced that the group would be taking a hiatus over the holidays, let things sit for a month, and then re-invited most of the people back into the game. Things have been a lot quieter since, and a lot more fun for everyone; it wasn't a decision that I liked taking, but one that was needed for the future health of the campaign and the group as a whole.

    I also understand about the scheduling problems, too! I've gone to a fixed schedule of the second and fourth Saturdays of the month and the game room is set and open rain or shine. If people show up, they get to play; if nobody shows up, I get to work on larger miniatures projects. This has helped all of the players organize their schedules, as well as making things easier here in our chaotic household.

    And we're all very sorry to hear about your dad, too! (Been there, done that...) I can understand the stresses over him and the future, and if there's anything we can do, let us know, eh?

  4. Most esteemed Chirine ba Kal,

    Thank you for your empathies.

    I will have to see about living arrangements before I can think of hosting my hand-chosen players. Hosting gives me the control that I am lacking at the LGS.


  5. Hopes and thoughts will be with you.

  6. both acted in a very immature and inappropriate manner that both hurt me in my heart,

    I know how it is. The same thing happened with the last group I was in. I felt like I was back in high school - fuck that! I dropped them the next day.

    As they say in the classics: "He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm."

  7. Chris T,

    Thank you for your corroboration. :)

  8. I have to agree with the other commentators; there comes a point where the agony caused by some players simply isn't worth it.

    And yes, your living situation should and must take priority! Getting that sorted will make your life much easier, and it will (speaking from my own sometimes bitter experiences of the last thirty years of gaming) make your gaming life a lot easier as well. I used to do 'public' games in all sorts of settings, from conventions to the FLGS, and there's a lot of logistics involved; it's as much work to do a game across town as it is to do one at Gen Con or Origins. There's also a certain risk, as well; I lost more then a few miniatures to people at public events, and I'm a lot more choosy about where I run games these days.

    I'm very fortunate in that I have a dedicated room in the house for gaming, and a family that all supports the game group; they all play, when they can, and they all help out with running games when they can.

    I hate to say it, but access to a game is something that does need to be controlled. Back in the 1980s, my two Tekumel RPG groups served as a kind of 'waiting room' to Prof. Barker's two groups, and people had to get a sort of basic introduction to Tekumel in my groups before they'd go out to play in his; we started this system after some unfortunate experiences with some of the players who joined his two groups prior to this.

    These days, I have a sort of 'vetting' system in place where members of the group can suggest potential players. I get in touch with them, ask some questions about their gaming style and preferences, and give them a list of questions that ask what they might have problems with in the game. Once all that's done, I check with the rest of the group to see if there are any potential personality problems, and then offer the new player a sort of trial membership for several months to see if they work out.

    Yes, I'm picky about who gets to play in my RPG sessions, and yes, I have have asked people not to come back after there have been problems. It's worked out pretty well, though, as I've only had to ask one player to leave in some six years of regular gaming. I guess that I feel, as an RPG GM and as a miniatures referee, that I'd rather be picky and choosy beforehand and not have to deal with problems later on.

    I think you'll be able to work things out, long-term; it's getting through the short-term that will be tough, and we're all pulling for you!

  9. Thank you for that, Jeff. :D

    I hope to host the game while we still have the house.
    --I don't know how many players I'll have, but, we'll see...


  10. I hear you on the house.

    Go for quality in your players, not quantity; you'll be a happier and better GM, and they'll be happier and better players. You'll all have a lot more fun, that way...

  11. Sorry to hear about the tough times, TS.

    I went and looked up the laws on guns in Mass. Now I remember why I don't live back east!