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Monday, June 13, 2011

When Will the OSR Emperor Arise, Bringing Peace to the Warring Provences?

I'm taking a short break just to give me time to think.
--VANGUARD is being bolted into place with new formatting and a few last edits filed to fit.

I have been reading at my blogroll, and am glad I seemed to have missed this week's OSR Throwdown cage matches except to hear of them second or third hand.

You guys are doing this on purpose, arent you? C'mon, admit it. You guys don't actually think those fights look real.

I mean, I'll admit there is athleticism of the mind and some real steam in some of the battles, but the referee and team-mates always intervene and no injury, AAC leads to libertine thinking holy post notwithstanding, that the week or three travel down the stream won't fix, and all is well in that regard...

Instead, new rivalries are pitted in the ring, with folding chairs (2e Sux! BOOM! I Said it!) and chalk dust in the eyes (Alignment: Friend or Foe?), razored bare-hand attacks (Monk-Assassin PC legitimacy) , and pile-drivers (bewbalicious chicks in cloven hoof high heels).

If you guys are taking this seriously, you're kinda creepin' me out here.



  1. Sadly, it's all too serious. That's part of the problem with the OSR, and none of the people IN it want to admit that they are making themselves look bad to outsiders. Their favorite tactic when someone presents that is, "PROVE IT! SHOW ME LINKS? WHERE DOES THE OSR MAKE ITSELF LOOK BAD? AND WHY SHOULD WE CARE??"

    I gave up on it altogether, myself. It's just not worth even trying. I'm going to quietly continue to put out my stuff and if people continue to like it, so be it.

  2. Damn! I missed someww fun stuff it seems ;)

  3. :)
    A voice of reason?
    How dare you!!!
    Perhaps the seers and counselors will convene and proclaim an empress!

  4. We need a strong hand to guide us, otherwise we lose our way. I am preparing my pro-nihilism post right now as a matter of fact.

  5. What's this? A voice of reason in the wilderness?!? Get her!

  6. Oops! :)

    @Jason: Thanks. I just put out a hypothesis, but now you folks are confirming that my fears may be well founded. :D

    @Ragnorakk: That would be true irony. :)

    @ckutalik: Looking forward to the Post. :D

    @zb: > Queue Benny Hill chase music < :D

  7. I vote Joesky for dictator, he made the brains run on time.

  8. Makes me want to listen to Gang of Four.

    I think Joesky is the only one truly qualified.

  9. @Chris: Nihilism? YOU CAN'T FORCE ME TO CARE!

    @Roger: Joesky is the Dawn and Dusk of All Wisdom. He is already God Emperor. We bring him offerings of bone, twine, and shellfish so that our crops will grow!

  10. I claim the Emperor's throne.

    My first edict - all games will be played with minis.

    Second edict - All minis will be replaced with raw, plucked chickens.

    That is all. Someone else can have the crown now.

    - Ark

  11. @Arkhein: Plucked chickens!!! This is an outrage! Only unplucked chickens are the right way to play!

    Your 'plucked' version will force me to buy more 'fowl' books. No way!

  12. @scottsz - (Eewwwww - fowl - ewww - that pun melted my spleen a little.)

    Avast! You'll have to pluck the plucked chicken from my cold, dead, clammy hands. Which will probably come soon for both of us from salmonella as we are playing wargames with dead, uncooked chickens.

    - Ark

    Ps Grrreeeaat - My CAPTCHA word is "sucksup."

  13. @Arkhein: Wargames!?!?! You mean we aren't trying to read the future out of the mess?

  14. And no one seems to be paying the Joesky tax.

  15. Roll 1d4-

    4 - Yes, absolutely!
    3 - Very likely
    2 - Possible
    1 - Deifinetly not!

    There, that satisfy the tax?

  16. Makes me wonder if the $howmen even realise how, or that, they are *Winning*?
    --Is it possible that in this case, the analogy breaks down, and the sport is 'for real'? Certainly seems so.

    and, for the love of Joesky:

    Random Opinion Table-

    Roll on d7, you Nihilist! :D

    7 - Booyah! That sh[izzle] is righteous!
    6 - Boss, dude! That thing doing that thing to that thing is sick!
    5 - Heavy, man. That's just...heavy.
    4 - Um. Like. WOW! Heh. > shudder <
    3 - I'm afraid to say that kinda freaks me out, so I'll just say nothing.
    2 - No, and here's why...
    1 - Kill it! Kill it with fire!!!

    As the d7 creates a hard average of 4, one should weight the roll +1/-1 depending on whether the bewbees are uncovered and intact, or uncovered and being gnawed on by a skeleton; and one's own headspace, natch.

    BTW, Karl P.'s birthday was on the 14th
    :: Happy B-Day, KAP.